Not 1, not 2, but 3
by Miss Uzumaki
Summary: So superfamily, but Miss U version. Peter's dads are superheroes. That's cool isn't it? Maybe. Stark Spangled Banner


**Disclaimer: Don't own the Avengers or Spider-man, all ownership goes to their creators. Hail Stan Lee the god.**

**Not 1, not 2, but 3**

_Italic : Peter thinking_

_It was a cold night. It was a very cold rainy night in August, on a Wednesday. No wait, Tuesday. Okay doesn't matter, not the point. So on a cold rainy night on a Wednesday in August, a baby who was merely a few months old was abandon by his parents. This child was left upon on a certain billionaire doorsteps with nothing but the child's name on a little paper and something about take care, who knows. By now you might be wondering what happen to the child. Well…_

_My name is Peter Parker. I am seventeen years old and I go to Midtown Science High School. I'm a typical high school kid with tons of friends and a hot girlfriend. Who am I kidding, friends are scarce and girlfriend? I'm lucky if girls even look at me. The only person that gives me any attention is that stupid Flash Thompson. There goes my life, fun._

_I love science though. I don't know why, but science is the only thing in the world that seems logical and normal to me, maybe because of my dads. Yeah, you heard me, dads. You might be wondering, Peter, does that mean you are gay? No, I am not. I am pretty sure I am heterosexual and just because my dads are gay don't make me gay. Don't get me wrong, I love my dads. They are caring, overly protective, annoying, naggers…but other than that, they're cool. The best thing about my dads is they are superheroes._

There was a slight knock on the door and Peter quickly shove the journal into the drawer of his desk, slamming on his finger in the process.

"Shit, Yeah come in!" Peter said quickly as he unlocked the door, pressing the button.

A man with a flop of messy brown hair and glasses stick his head into the room. "Peter, breakfast is ready. Come down before it's all gone okay?"

Peter wrinkles his nose in pain, "Yeah, gotcha."

The brunette eyebrows furrow in concern, "Your finger."

Peter look down at his swollen red pointer and frown, "Well, this is crap."

The man strolls over to the teen and held out his hand, "Let me see."

Peter shields his finger with his other hand, "I'm fine, just a little—"

Peter swallows as he stares at the man's face. He slowly pushes his hand forward for the man to examine.

"It's just a little swollen, come down and I'll give you some ice."

Peter smiles, "Thanks dad, you're the man."

The brunette lips quirks up slightly. "Hm."

_That's my dad, Bruce Banner, an incredibly smart scientist specializing in radiology. He looks like a harmless puppy doesn't he? Messy hair and big eyes; if you're thinking that you are in deep trouble. My dad here has an alter ego while my dad calls it "the other guy", I prefer the incredible hulk. No seriously it's pretty cool, I've never seen it happened, but the pictures were pretty damn awesome. Apparently my dad is able to transform into a huge green Hulk out of rage and a punch from him can pretty much kill any human being. Because of that he's very timid, the kind that lack social skills you know? He helps people by being a doctor. I think he's doing it because he feels bad for being the "bad guy". He'll never admit it though. He's actually the hero._

"Let's go." Peter said as he pushes Bruce out of the room and head down the elevator to the kitchen. The door to the elevator open and the smell of bacon fills Peter's nostrils.

"Smells great dad!" said Peter as he make his way to the table filled with foods.

"Taste great too." The brunette on the table said with his mouth full. Peter eyed the piece of toast hanging on the man's goatee with glee and burst out laughing.

The man stared at the teen annoyingly, "What so funny?"

Bruce took one look at the man and chuckles, "Tony there's toast on your face."

The brunette hand shot up to his face, probing for the toast. Bruce walked over to the man and pulled out the toast from the beard and placed it on a napkin on the table.

"Thanks Bruce." the man said with a sly smile.

Peter inwardly groaned at the scene.

_That's my dad, Tony Stark. You probably heard of him. If you didn't, you might know him as Iron man? Yeah, that Tony Stark. How do I feel about having Iron man as my dad you ask? Oh the thrills._

"Pete, you should probably get yourself a girlfriend. Can't be single forever you know? You need some love!"

Peter glared at the man before plopping down on the chair. "Shut up dad."

"Tony, that was not nice." A plate of food was placed on the table by a firm hand, Peter look up to the owner and smile widely.

"Besides," the man return the stare, "We love him, don't we Tony?"

The smile on Peter's face grew wider at the man in apron. Even with the apron, Peter could still sense the leadership in this man.

_This man here is Steve Rogers. He is also my…dad. At this point you might be really confused. Yeah I have three dads. What can I say? My dads are having some sort of a kinky love triangle thing going on…okay that was weird. Bad mental images. Shit. That is not the point. The point is I have three dads who are insanely in love with each other therefore resulting in me having three dads. I'm not complaining. I actually love it. Bruce dad is kind of the mom because you know he's the caring type? Tony dad is the asshole dad. He's the dad that pokes fun of you and laugh at you, but I know he loves me, he just wouldn't admit it. Then there is Steve dad. He's the dad I look up to, Captain America. You definitely heard of him. I'm sure you are freaking out right now, Captain America is dead and if he's not, he's old. Well, to make the long story short, my dad is not old looking at all. Even though he's the oldest he looks the youngest. The serum helped with that. The serum that made my dad into Captain America._

"Yeah we do, but the boys' got to get a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, whatever." Tony said as he pushes a piece of bacon into his mouth with a fork.

Peter rolled his eyes, "Girlfriend."

Tony shrugged his shoulders, "Whatever."

Bruce trotted over the table and handed Peter the ice pack. "Here, use it Peter."

"Thanks dad." said Peter as he covered the finger with the ice pack.

Bruce nodded before turning to Tony frowning, "Peter will find someone. Besides, he still young."

Tony raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Young? Do you guys know how many people I dated when I was his ag—" the man stop in track as two sets of eyes glared daggers toward his way.

He grinned sheepishly, "I'm joking Bruce." The man grabbed onto the doctor's hand and gave it a squeeze. He turns to the blonde and pulled on his apron, "Steve?"

The two men sighed in unison, "Idiot."

Peter laughed at the expression the man was having on his face. Only in this family can this happen, Tony Stark, submitting.

"Stop laughing kid. It's your fault." He murmured

Peter just shook his head with a sigh. His dad is such a child. There is one thing about what he said was right though. He really needs a girlfriend. He better get one before his dad continues to poke at his single life. It's not that hard. There is somebody in Peter's mind, not that he's going to tell his dads about it. There is no way he's going to tell them about it.

The food was finish placing on the table and everybody was seated. Peter happily grab a piece of toast and shove it in his mouth. Just when he was enjoying the toast Tony spoke up.

"Why don't you ask out that blond girl you have as your desktop cover?" said Tony

Bruce and Steve forks stop in midair as they turned to the teen in surprise. Peter cough as he chokes on the toast. Bruce quickly hand him a glass of water to wash the toast down.

"How do y-you know about that?!" Peter yelped

"I hacked into your computer. Please you can't hide anything from me. Besides, I know her name." Tony said with a hint of mischief.

Bruce and Steve turned to the man with curious looks, "Name?"

Tony smirk before leaning closer to the men, "Beg for it."

The two men face turned bright red, causing Peter to groaned loudly before banging his head on the table, "That's mentally scarring."

Tony burst out laughing, "Deal with it!"

Peter ruffles his hair in annoyance. _Damn horny dads._

* * *

A/N: Yes I know, I have like, 5 stories still on hold and I'm writing this. I'm sorry but writer's block is definitely not a good thing and this just came to me in my sleep. This is kind of weird because people are use to superfamily with Steve and Tony as dad, but I love Stark Spangled Banner. I cannot write a fic with Tony in it and Bruce isn't in there. Therefore people would have to stick with this oddly written format. Hopefully it's not bad, not sure if I should continue, it all depends on you guys so review please? Also the grammars might be bad, well I can't do anything about that. I suck.


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